an angel from a subtropical pennisula
story of me (part i)
i am awkward-footed, slender-fingered, not asian-enough, not american-enough, half-spirit, half-human: fully me.
❀
i was born in the southern tip of a peninsula, across a harbor named after a british queen, in a place where skyscrapers of matchstick shapes are built with bamboo facades: hong kong
i am the daughter of two people who married for economy and reputation, whose coming-of-age tales were set in the backdrop of a cultural revolution covered in blood, whose ancestors included the plenipotentiary of a nation and a self-made millionaire.
i grew up in a greenhouse made of glass, transparent walls so i could see but could not go outside. Still, to this day, most of my dreams are set indoors. i dream of wide-open landscapes running with wild horses. perhaps that is why i have let go of an apartment lease in exchange for a life of floating from one temporary rental to another since the last winter.
i resonate with the in-betweens:
my shoe size is 7.5 (us)
my ring finger is as long as halfway through the index and the middle fingers
at the time of writing this post, my tongue had spent half of its life making the pecking sounds of cantonese, another half dragging vowels like a valley girl
as a child, my eyes saw spirits immaterial to the human world. sometimes, i felt like i was living in the bardo.
suspended in a liminal space, i swung between the extremes: it was either nodding indiscriminately in the glasshouse or running towards other people’s nos.
now, seven months into a journey of floating, i realized neither is the way to live. i have emerged out of the ends because i have found a center within me to ground on.
hear me when i say this: i am awkward-footed, slender-fingered, not asian-enough, not american-enough, part-spirit, part-human: fully me.
it feels kind of vulnerable to write about myself. but that’s exactly the point of my starting this newsletter: to embody vulnerability as to enliven yours.
i’d love to hear from you - please:
this is part 1 of a series of unknown parts to tell the story of me, which covers stories of intergenerational trauma, romantic relationships, immigrant journey, queerness, healing, and ponderings of many earthly tings.
if you want to keep reading it, u can subscribe now to get updated when i publish in the future. and ofc you should share with a friend:
last but definitely not least, here is a meme just 4 u 💗🦋🙏🐬❤️🔥🕊🐝✨💝💞
