what i loved (and hated) in july
a monthly curated list of culture, music, books, and fashion
Meme
Music
Peggy Gou: I Hear You
when (It Goes Like) Nanana came out as a single last year, i would play it every time i drive down a long stretch of the street without traffic lights. i’d imagine myself in a spacesuit, floating in a phallic rocket with stardusts zooming by me in the speed of the light. the synthy swings in this track reminds me of the space-electric songs that used to be my trusty focus playlist (one is called cosmic cardin, inspired by the designer). i can’t say that i loved every track in this album, but I also can’t deny Peggy’s skills of making people boogie. for now, this is the closest thing to a summer in ibiza for me.
Fashion
Aritzia Established Dress (on sale!)
there was a time in my life when aritzia was too low brow for me. i was living in new york, where i, along with everyone else, treated the poop-stained streets as the runway. i was intentional about sourcing my clothes so i mostly shopped from vintage, second-hand, or indie places, both for the carbon footprint and the thrill of finding uncommon pieces. pieces that would make me feel cute *and* special. but that time has passed. now that i’m pregnant, not only do i require different sizes (a moment of silence for the lime green dolce & gabbana suit that no longer fits me), but i’m also in a different career that made me feel slightly more self-conscious about what i wear. when i was working in tech where one of my colleagues dressed and identified as a fox, i felt emboldened to wear anything. i’m an academic with a teaching job now. while neither the university or the students have explicitly said anything, i felt like it’s probably a good idea to wear a bra. i’m still a bit torn about the boundary of style i can/should stretch into. part of me felt like i’m censoring myself, but another part is fully happy to participate in professor-core.
anyway, i digress. im getting married, so i’ve been looking for a white dress that fits my 9 months pregnant body without looking like im an asian pear wrapped in a styrofoam sleeve.
after some research, i realized that most white dresses that would look flattering on a pregnant body fell into goddess-core or princess-core:
link to exhibit 1 , exhibit 2, exhibit 3
i’m not really into that any of these looks. i wanted something fun! something fruity! maybe something like this Tara Tie Mini Dress! the ties on the side are perfect for adjusting the size to fit the belly - but do i really want to show my underwear at the city hall? no. so I moved on and spent maybe an hour imaging if i’d fit into an XL of this Tyler McGillivary dress. the model was wearing a M in this instance. even if my booty and chest fit into the dress, i envisioned my belly would burst out of that lily petal. the math was not mathing for me. i closed my laptop and went to the mall for a walk (fyi walking at the mall is my exercise now).
the mall was renovated a few years ago and became a destination for san diegans. there are outdoor lounge chairs, fire pits, jazz music that plays along the corridor that leads you to the bathroom. having just moved from new york, i hated how pleasant it was. i coded it as banal. but ive been practicing what my therapist called “letting san diego take care of me” and my feelings about the mall have changed. i like that parking is free for 2 hours. i like that there are not just one but three (!) boba choices. where was i? right, i was at aritzia, seriously doubting i’d find anything. but then i touched one of their hoodies and i was amazed by how soft it was. and then i touched more things and they were like ~~ not that bad ~~! and things were on sale! i might not want to be low brow but i love a sale. sorting through the racks, i found this knitted white dress. it’s made of a thick material, so it hides all signs of my pregnancy underwear. it’s heavy, so the bottom of the dress falls at the ankles with a flattering flowy-ness. most importantly, when i tried it on, the staff hyped me up so much that i felt like this was the one.
when i went home, i realized the price online was lower than the price i paid at the store. i didn’t understand what happened, so i chatted with their customer service rep who quickly refunded me the difference. i love a price adjustment! i love the mall!
Food
If you made it through my meandering of the mall portion, thank you. i feel a little guilty about that. to make up for whatever distress i might have caused you, here is a recipe of a drink that i grew up having in Hong Kong. i make a batch every few days to soothe the summer heat and stay hydrated:
coix seed drink
1/4 cup of coix seeds
5 cups of water
sweetener of choice: rock sugar, Manuka honey
(optional) goji berries
time: 1 hour
rise coix seeds. no need to soak them.
put coix seeds into a large pot with water. bring to boil.
once boiling, lower the heat to simmer. leave it simmering for 45 minutes to 1 hour.
it’s ready when the coix seeds are tender with a slight chewiness to them
add your preferred sweetener. I usually put 1 tbsp of Manuka honey and stir
add goji berries if you’re using them
enjoy this hydrating, dampness-ridding drink warm (preferred) or cool (but don’t drink too much cool stuff).
tv
as i told my social circles that i wouldn’t be seeing nobody starting august 1, i started replacing relationships with tv. this sounds kind of sad. but something tells me that this nesting period is important for the last month of pregnancy.
if you’re looking for the trendiest thing to watch to stay interesting at your next brunch date, sorry this recommendation column isn’t the place for that. I will, however, tell you about the shows that have moved me recently. Harlem is one of those shows. it features 4 best friends living in, well, Harlem. it’s basically the black version of sex and the city but dramatically better and more relevant than SJP and her wonderings. their relationships may feature a disappointment here and there, yet throughout these life changes one thing is clear - that they’ve got each other’s back. plus, queerness is already built into this plot, unlike the mess with miranda in And This And That (I call it that to make fun of its equally ridiculous title, And Just Like That).
book (this is an anti-recommendation)
i borrowed this book from the library only because I saw that it has over 330k reviews on amazon. i thought - what a popular book! it must be at least decent. i was wrong. i’m only a quarter of the way into the book, but i’m sad to report that neither the writing or the messages from the book captured me. for one, ryle is cis-male entitlement epitomized, assuming women should fulfill his sexual needs on demand. what kind of dated gender bullshit is this? i’m confused by lily’s attraction towards him, especially after the vile advances from ryle. this romance novel feels rather predatory to me. but maybe that’s the point, given the plot twist shown in the movie trailer starring Blake Lively. if this is what modern romance novels are like, im going back to Edith Wharton.
do you have a recommendation for me? i’m preparing for postpartum sitting-the-moon and would like some light reads. leave a comment below with your recs, please.